Saturday, August 27, 2016
In My First 100 Days As POTUS
Dear potential donor: Have you noticed that since this wacko election season began nobody has said boo about what he or she would actually do on the off-chance that he or she were to wind up in the Oval Office?
Let me be the first.
If I were POTUS, I would be-quick-as-a-bunny to act on the following initiatives in my first 100 days:
Agriculture. IMO, every public school and federal prison should have an organic garden, and the kids and the inmates should do the work. Research shows that pulling weeds and experimenting with kale recipes is good for people.
The environment. America has too many lawns and not enough butterfly gardens. Lawns are basically chemical dumps. Lady Bird Johnson planted wildflowers along the Interstate; I will ask people to toss out their power mowers and plant black-eyed Susans and milkweed.
The arts. Our nation is in serious need of art therapy—just look at all the nut jobs in politics today. I propose Art Fridays, when everybody—carwash attendants, corporate vice-presidents, congressional leaders—gets the day off to make and appreciate art.
Reforming our criminal justice system. We need to put more animals in prison. Caring for a pet makes us better people, and a lot of dogs, cats, and horses need a loving home.
Notice my use of the subjunctive, above: If I were POTUS, this is what I would do. Because I'm still asking myself whether being the nation's chief exec is a job that a sane person would volunteer for. Will let you know my decision by the end of next week.
Love, Sadie
PS The photo is of a community garden in Detroit.
Friday, August 26, 2016
Sadie the Cleaning Lady
I don't know about you, but I think this would make an excellent theme song for my new unofficial presidential campaign. The song was a hit in 1968 and it's still popular, at least in Australia. Here are the lyrics. Would love to know what you think.
Sadie, the cleaning lady
With trusty scrubbing brush and pale of water
Worked her fingers to the bone, for the life she had at home
Providing at the same time for her daughter
Ahh Sadie, the cleaning lady
Her aching knees not getting any younger
Well her red detergent hands, have for years not held a man's
And time would find her heart in spite of hunger
Scrub your floors, do your chores, dear old Sadie
Looks as though you'll always be a cleaning lady
Can't afford to get bored dear old Sadie
Looks as though you'll always be a cleaning lady
Ahh Sadie, the cleaning lady
Her female mind would find a way of trapping
Though as gentle as a lamb, Sam the elevator man
So she could spend the night by TV, napping
Ahh Sadie, the cleaning lady
Her aching knees not getting any younger
Well her red detergent hands, have for years not held a man's
And time would find her heart in spite of hunger
Ahh, scrub your floors, do your chores, dear old Sadie
Looks as though you'll always be a cleaning lady
Can't afford to get bored dear old Sadie
Looks as though you'll always be a cleaning lady
Ahh Sadie, the cleaning lady
Her Sam was what she got, hook, line and sinker
To her sorrow and dismay, she's still working to this day
Her Sam turned out to be a nervous figure
Ahh, scrub your floors, do your chores, dear old Sadie
Looks as though you'll always be a cleaning lady
Can't afford to get bored dear old Sadie (fade)
Why I Should Be President
Ever since I had a complete nervous breakdown for two days last spring, I have been wondering what to do with the rest of my life, and this morning, while peeling carrots for chicken curry, it came to me: I should run for president! Consider:
(1) I have never before run for public office and I have no political experience of any kind. This alone should endear me to millions of voters at both ends of the political spectrum.
(2) I happen to be a woman, so my presidency would be just as historic as Hillary's but without all that baggage, since I have never met Henry Kissinger or Dick Morris or any of those people.
(3) I have a nice husband. He would make a fine First Whatever. He is an immigrant, but the right kind of immigrant. Meaning that he comes from a country that is part of NATO.
(4) I can read (handy when using a teleprompter) and write (handy for signing bills into law).
(5) I do not have a dog. After I am elected, I will need to get one (every White House family should have a dog). Deciding what kind of dog I should get will spark a national debate, one that diverts media attention during my first 100 days. This is when I plan to sneak controversial legislation through Congress—i.e., while the dog debate is going on and attention is diverted.
(6) I love the arts. Every artist should vote for me. We will do lots of art projects while I'm in the Oval Office.
(7) I have not named any buildings after myself, so if you decide to name your building after me (because I'm the first woman prez and artists love me and all that), you can be the first.
(8) I am not as elderly as my potential rivals, both of whom are due for a major stroke or something. At least Ben Carson seems to think so, and he's a doctor so he should know.
(9) I am basically of sound mind, despite that wee episode back in April, which I will fully explain as soon as Donald Trump publishes his tax returns.
(10) Speaking of tax returns, I have filed one every year since 1972 and I can prove it. I used to spread everything out on the kitchen table but now I use Turbo Tax (like Mrs. Sanders). I have never been audited. Somewhere I read that never being audited is not necessarily a good thing (it means you might be paying too much), but for me it is.
Bonus: I have never been to prison, except to visit friends and relatives. My husband did once spend time in a Zambian jail cell, but that was before I knew him. Besides, he was never formally charged with a crime, and ultimately he escaped. If you want more details, you can read them here.
(1) I have never before run for public office and I have no political experience of any kind. This alone should endear me to millions of voters at both ends of the political spectrum.
(2) I happen to be a woman, so my presidency would be just as historic as Hillary's but without all that baggage, since I have never met Henry Kissinger or Dick Morris or any of those people.
(3) I have a nice husband. He would make a fine First Whatever. He is an immigrant, but the right kind of immigrant. Meaning that he comes from a country that is part of NATO.
(4) I can read (handy when using a teleprompter) and write (handy for signing bills into law).
(5) I do not have a dog. After I am elected, I will need to get one (every White House family should have a dog). Deciding what kind of dog I should get will spark a national debate, one that diverts media attention during my first 100 days. This is when I plan to sneak controversial legislation through Congress—i.e., while the dog debate is going on and attention is diverted.
(6) I love the arts. Every artist should vote for me. We will do lots of art projects while I'm in the Oval Office.
(7) I have not named any buildings after myself, so if you decide to name your building after me (because I'm the first woman prez and artists love me and all that), you can be the first.
(8) I am not as elderly as my potential rivals, both of whom are due for a major stroke or something. At least Ben Carson seems to think so, and he's a doctor so he should know.
(9) I am basically of sound mind, despite that wee episode back in April, which I will fully explain as soon as Donald Trump publishes his tax returns.
(10) Speaking of tax returns, I have filed one every year since 1972 and I can prove it. I used to spread everything out on the kitchen table but now I use Turbo Tax (like Mrs. Sanders). I have never been audited. Somewhere I read that never being audited is not necessarily a good thing (it means you might be paying too much), but for me it is.
Bonus: I have never been to prison, except to visit friends and relatives. My husband did once spend time in a Zambian jail cell, but that was before I knew him. Besides, he was never formally charged with a crime, and ultimately he escaped. If you want more details, you can read them here.
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Why I Didn't Write This Week
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Fakarava Lagoon on Bora Bora. This is where I was, mentally, on the evening of June 27. Photo: Grégoire Le Bacon |
The
thunk was followed by dead silence and then a shout.
That thunk, I thought, was a car hitting an object that was not very solid. Possibly a bicyclist or a pedestrian.
My
husband had gone down the street to Le Smile, the neighborhood pub, to have a
beer with his friend Pascal.
I
thought, Patrick should be almost home by now.
I
thought, maybe I should investigate.
I
thought, but maybe I’ll just sit here and watch this Bora Bora video instead.
Because if something bad is happening down there, it’s really not my business.
There is nothing I can do. And Patrick will be home soon. So I’ll just finish
watching this video and then we’ll have dinner.
And
then the phone rang. And I thought oh, shit.
A man’s voice said in heavily accented English: “Your husband has been in an
accident. He is in the street. He is okay. The doctor is here.”
There was some muffled discussion and my
husband’s voice came on the line.
“Hello,
darling. I’ve been hit by a car. I’m just across the street from the Carrefour
Market.”
“I’m
coming.”
Eight
days later, Patrick came home from l’hopital de Fontainebleau with a broken
pelvis and some spectacular bruises. His arms were wrapped in gauze, and there was a big bandage on his head. I went to the pharmacy for a wheelchair, a
walker, pain medicine, sleeping pills, bandages, and compression socks.
That is the number one reason why I didn’t write this week. Or last week. Or the week before. The accident happened 25 days ago.
That is the number one reason why I didn’t write this week. Or last week. Or the week before. The accident happened 25 days ago.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Malintent: Airport Scanners in the Era of ISIS
This morning, as I was rifling through an online archive of stuff I wrote several years ago for Condé Nast Traveler I came across this ancient blog post about airport security (below), which mentions something called Malintent. The scanning system, which Homeland Security was developing at the time, was supposed to read your mind and warn the nation's supercops if you were planning to commit a crime. I, for one, assumed the crime would take place in midair, or perhaps on the runway, unless Malintent stepped up to save the day. Needless to say, the entire scenario sounded very Orwellian and sinister.
Given recent events, I decided to check what was happening with Malintent. According to the DHS website, they're still working on it (it's now in a testing-and-tinkering phase).
Europeans were not too keen on the scanning booths that were emigrating from America in 2008. Maybe they realized their limitations. It is hard to imagine how even Malintent might have prevented what happened in Brussels this week. Obviously, the world has changed a lot since the spyware development program began. By the way, the proper name for Malintent is Future Attribute Screening Technology, or FAST.
October 31, 2008
Europe Balks at the Scanning Booth

The future of security scanning?
AP Photo
Invasion of the body scanners!
Digital penetration!
The TSA wants to see you naked!
Such were the warnings when scanners that bare all began cropping up in the nation's airports last year, starting in Phoenix. "Are you up for this?" Slate asked its readers as JFK and LAX stood in line to receive the equipment. "Are you ready to get naked for your country?"
Then came this year's rollout and another spate of headlines. "Body-scanning machines that show images of people underneath their clothing are being installed in 10 of the nation's busiest airports," announced USA Today in June, calling the proliferation "one of the biggest public uses of security devices that reveal intimate body parts."
But apart from the media and the ACLU, nobody seemed to care. Instead of an invasion of privacy or an Orwellian threat to their personhood, most passengers caught in the bovine shuffle through airport security perceived the glass booths as just another boring obstacle in the long, dull slog to their departure gates. That's because they "have no idea how graphic the images are," contends the ACLU's Barry Steinhardt.
"In a nation infamous for its loud and litigious protesters, the silence, the absolute and utter silence on this issue is screaming," fumed a reader at Slashdot.
Now, however, the scanners are popping up in European airports, and the Europeans are saying not so fast. Citing "serious human rights concerns," EU lawmakers last week called for "a detailed study of the technology before it is used." Germany denounced the equipment as "nonsense."
The word from America: Get over it. Body scanners are "the wave of the future," a TSA official told USA Today back in June. "We're just scratching the surface of what we can do with whole-body imaging."
In the works: A scanner that can read your mind. "Like an X-ray for bad intentions" is the way Fox News describes Malintent, a contraption that uses sensors and imagers to determine whether a passenger, say, is planning to blow up the plane.
"There is a point at which you think--I can't write about this, it's a joke or a skit," notes technology blogger Renee Blodgett. "But it's not." Still in the testing phase, Malintent looks "very promising," according to a DHS spokesman.
To those who would dismiss such gadgetry as "security theater," a reader of the "common sense" blog Ugly Ass Opinion ("Common sense still kicks ass") has this to say: "Homeland Security will now be sending an agent to live in each of your homes to make sure you're not a terrorist. . . . You must feed and clothe him at your own expense. He will bring his own toothpaste, though."
Further reading:
*India's use of brain scans in courts dismays critics (International Herald Tribune, September 2008)
*The Things He Carried: Airport security in America is a sham (Atlantic Monthly, November 2008)
*Homeland Security detects terrorist threats by reading your mind (Fox News, September 2008)
*Homeland (video): A seven-minute "thriller" from the 48 Hour Film Project (Best Editing, 2008)
The word from America: Get over it. Body scanners are "the wave of the future," a TSA official told USA Today back in June. "We're just scratching the surface of what we can do with whole-body imaging."
In the works: A scanner that can read your mind. "Like an X-ray for bad intentions" is the way Fox News describes Malintent, a contraption that uses sensors and imagers to determine whether a passenger, say, is planning to blow up the plane.
"There is a point at which you think--I can't write about this, it's a joke or a skit," notes technology blogger Renee Blodgett. "But it's not." Still in the testing phase, Malintent looks "very promising," according to a DHS spokesman.
To those who would dismiss such gadgetry as "security theater," a reader of the "common sense" blog Ugly Ass Opinion ("Common sense still kicks ass") has this to say: "Homeland Security will now be sending an agent to live in each of your homes to make sure you're not a terrorist. . . . You must feed and clothe him at your own expense. He will bring his own toothpaste, though."
Further reading:
*India's use of brain scans in courts dismays critics (International Herald Tribune, September 2008)
*The Things He Carried: Airport security in America is a sham (Atlantic Monthly, November 2008)
*Homeland Security detects terrorist threats by reading your mind (Fox News, September 2008)
*Homeland (video): A seven-minute "thriller" from the 48 Hour Film Project (Best Editing, 2008)
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
You Could Win a Dryer!
That is the subject line in an email that came today from
Town and Country magazine, to which it seems I subscribe. A dryer? I had to
know more, so I clicked. Sure enough, Hearst (the magazine’s publisher) is
giving away a General Electric Gas Dryer With Stainless Steel Drum and Steam.
For clothes. I don’t know what I was expecting. A dryer for apples, maybe? Or
hair? Or coffee beans? Or . . . well, anyway, this one is for wet clothes. Do I
want a dryer? No, I don’t. I already have one. Two in fact. One in Vermont, and
one in France. So I didn’t enter the sweepstakes.
But it got me thinking: Why would Town and Country, a posh magazine if ever there was one, come after me with a prosaic household appliance? I guess because Hearst also owns Good Housekeeping and lumps its subscribers together, but still. If I were into housekeeping (which I’m not), a nice prize would be a butler. Or a two-week vacation in the Bahamas, or a chalet in the French Alps.
The incident reminded me of the time my husband, newly arrived in Fontainebleau (also posh, at least by our standards), was invited via a telemarketer to attend a luncheon about sweaters. It was a free lunch, so he went. The lunch was in a restaurant on Rue Grande, and there were about 40 people there. Everyone at his table thought they had come to hear about sweaters and enjoy French cuisine. Wrong: The presentation was about mattresses. To this day, he cannot explain it.
But it got me thinking: Why would Town and Country, a posh magazine if ever there was one, come after me with a prosaic household appliance? I guess because Hearst also owns Good Housekeeping and lumps its subscribers together, but still. If I were into housekeeping (which I’m not), a nice prize would be a butler. Or a two-week vacation in the Bahamas, or a chalet in the French Alps.
The incident reminded me of the time my husband, newly arrived in Fontainebleau (also posh, at least by our standards), was invited via a telemarketer to attend a luncheon about sweaters. It was a free lunch, so he went. The lunch was in a restaurant on Rue Grande, and there were about 40 people there. Everyone at his table thought they had come to hear about sweaters and enjoy French cuisine. Wrong: The presentation was about mattresses. To this day, he cannot explain it.
PS: If you need a dryer, feel free to use my name. It seems you have two chances to win. Runner up gets a top-loading dryer with interior drum light. Your housekeeper is gonna love it.
Monday, February 15, 2016
Hunting Giants: A Spring Pilgrimage Through Western North Carolina in Search of the American Chestnut
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Lumberjacks stand beside old-growth chestnut trees in North Carolina around 1910. (Forest History Society, Durham, N.C.) |
“Imported on plant material in the late 19th century and
first discovered in 1904 in New York City, the blight—an Asiatic fungus to
which our native chestnuts had very little resistance—spread quickly. In its
wake it left only dead and dying stems. By 1950, except for the shrubby root
sprouts the species continually produces (and which also quickly become
infected), the keystone species that had covered 188 million acres of eastern
forests had disappeared.” —The American Chestnut Foundation
In
a region famous for its picturesque settings, Francis
Cove is exceptional, a rather largish bowl with an encircling ridgeline in
the mountains of Western North Carolina, about two miles from downtown
Waynesville. The cove faces more or less northeast and opens into a little
valley. In the nineteenth century, this area produced some of the largest
American chestnut trees ever recorded.
Except
for the high tannin content and the resulting rot resistance of the wood,
chestnut appears not to have been much valued as a timber species. It splits
too easily for framing uses, and it often grew with a twist, somewhat offset by
the fact that it might grow 100 feet before branches disturbed the trunk. This
made it possible to get very long, unblemished beams from chestnut.
Around
Waynesville, its chief value was for tannin extraction, and the Champion Paper
Company of my childhood was the Champion Chestnut Extract factory of my
father’s. Times change. The hill folk used to harvest the chestnut mostly for
the tannin, and they called it “acid wood.” It was the chief source of natural
tannin in the U.S. before the blight, and there was so much chestnut that many
of the extraction factories were able to continue operation into the 1960s
using standing dead stumps.
Somewhere I had heard that the largest American chestnut on record was about twelve feet in diameter. One day I repeated this bit of hearsay in a casual conversation with someone at the American Chestnut Foundation (the goal of the ACF is to develop a blight-resistant tree and restore the American chestnut to its native range in eastern woodlands); one thing led to another, and retired UNCA professor Dr. Garrett Smathers dug up an actual reference, a tiny mention in Charlotte Hilton Green’s 1939 book Trees of the South. There she states, “Perhaps the largest of our American chestnuts was one in Francis Cove, western North Carolina, which had a diameter of seventeen feet and a height of more than one hundred feet.” Another colleague found a similar reference in a 1915 issue of American Forestry, which stated that “a tree with a diameter of seventeen feet has been recorded from Francis Cove in North Carolina.” Well, Garrett Smathers actually knew where Francis Cove was, and recalled knowing someone who knew where the stump of that old giant was. That’s how these things come about: threads of memory, oral history, dim recollections, some persistence and curiosity sometimes lead to the real thing. Thus began a pilgrimage in search of evidence of the perimeter of that tree. Garrett dug up some names, including Gene Christopher, who was a relative of Garrett’s late friend Mr. “Pink” Francis.
Somewhere I had heard that the largest American chestnut on record was about twelve feet in diameter. One day I repeated this bit of hearsay in a casual conversation with someone at the American Chestnut Foundation (the goal of the ACF is to develop a blight-resistant tree and restore the American chestnut to its native range in eastern woodlands); one thing led to another, and retired UNCA professor Dr. Garrett Smathers dug up an actual reference, a tiny mention in Charlotte Hilton Green’s 1939 book Trees of the South. There she states, “Perhaps the largest of our American chestnuts was one in Francis Cove, western North Carolina, which had a diameter of seventeen feet and a height of more than one hundred feet.” Another colleague found a similar reference in a 1915 issue of American Forestry, which stated that “a tree with a diameter of seventeen feet has been recorded from Francis Cove in North Carolina.” Well, Garrett Smathers actually knew where Francis Cove was, and recalled knowing someone who knew where the stump of that old giant was. That’s how these things come about: threads of memory, oral history, dim recollections, some persistence and curiosity sometimes lead to the real thing. Thus began a pilgrimage in search of evidence of the perimeter of that tree. Garrett dug up some names, including Gene Christopher, who was a relative of Garrett’s late friend Mr. “Pink” Francis.
A Visit to Francis Cove
Francis
Cove has been populated with the Francis and Christopher families for quite
some time. In 1887, William Francis chose the site for a water-powered
gristmill, now on the National Register of Historic Places. Today, Francis Cove
is home to Christopher Farms, a small orchard that has been in family hands for
generations.
Gene
and Doug Christopher run not only the orchard but also a small retail produce
enterprise, a slightly modernized version of the old mountain stores, which you
can find today only in truly remote parts of Western North Carolina. The
Christopher Farms store sells real sourwood honey (not clover with a sourwood
label), a wide variety of apples, locally produced eggs, and 100 percent pure
maple syrup. (A poster above the shelf of maple syrup informs you that Aunt
Jemima syrup is 2 percent maple and the maple content of Log Cabin syrup is
zero.) One of the store’s niceties is that you can call up and someone will
take your order over the phone and box up the groceries so your granddaughter
can pick them up—as one young woman was doing I arrived at the store.
With me
was Dr. Paul Sisco, a geneticist for the American Chestnut Foundation
and a world expert on this species. Our
visit had a purpose other than getting us outside on a promising early spring
day. We were trying to install a small demonstration chestnut planting at the
Western North Carolina Nature Center in Asheville, forty minutes away, and we
thought it might be nice to give folks a concrete idea of the actual size of
these “redwoods of the East” by placing our kiosk in the center of a gravel pad
of the same dimensions as a cross-section of this arboreal monster.
When
we arrived, Gene (whom I had spoken to earlier on the phone) was off at jury
duty and brother Doug was manning the store. Doug managed to break away from
the busy phone long enough to walk us outside and point out where we should
look. Neither he nor his brother had been up to the site for maybe fifteen or
twenty years, and neither could promise that we would find anything. Doug
volunteered a couple of interesting items: There were actually two big trees,
the second nearly as large as the first; in the old days you could turn a cart
around inside the larger tree. After giving us directions, Doug returned to the
phone, and Paul and I were on our own.
Up
through the woods we went. I was carrying an arsenal of camera hardware,
including a digital camera and a camcorder, a vial for collection of chestnut
debris for carbon-14 dating, orange flags to mark the perimeter for
photographing, rope, a ruler, just the basics. Paul had about the same amount.
Optimists. We stopped in the area where Doug had indicated we would find the
first stump and began looking around.
As
a woodcarver, I have found that chestnut has two distinct features. One is its
slight baby-aspirin tint, coming from the tannins that preserve it. The other
is its ease of carving, particularly when one is carving contours. As a rough
field test, I use my pocketknife to shave through the exterior rot of a fallen
limb, scrape down to solid wood, and then carve a curved cup. If it is “easy
enough” and it is orange, it’s a safe bet it’s chestnut. Since these hills used
to be covered with the stuff, it’s a pretty safe bet anyway.
Paul
and I spent twenty minutes walking around the first site. The earth under our
feet had that unmistakable feel of a springy mattress stuffed with centuries of
humus, penetrated with the bones of dead trees and stumps—some of them chestnut
but none of them large. Trickling invisible water . . . mushy, muddy places
where seeps emerged out of sudden dips in the slope . . . wildflowers. Our
exploration yielded some briar cuts, a warning from a neighborhood brace of
watchdogs, and not much else. Halfway through the first site visit, I returned
most of my data-collecting gear to the car.
The Second Site
The
second site was at the top of the abandoned orchard. It had a lot of fallen
timber. In the right places, chestnut has the look of driftwood, but here it
looked more brown on the exterior. Doug had volunteered a few comments about
the out-of-towner who had come up several years ago, planted the orchard
between where the two trees once stood, then disappeared, leaving acres of
untended trees right next to the impeccably maintained orchards of Christopher
farms. The fellow had also overseen the obliteration of the entire mountainside
of its timber. “Made his million and went back to Florida” was Doug’s comment
on the subject.
Paul
and I spent another half hour wandering in ever widening circles. The spring
ground, even in late March, was beginning to sprout a lot of wildflowers. I
felt guilty stepping on the bloodroot, trout lilies, wood anemones, and
squirrel corn, and was truly surprised that they were out in such early
abundance. I normally don’t even look until late April or early May.
Much
of the fallen timber turned out to be chestnut, based on my little field test,
but we were unable to locate the stump of the old giant. There was a lot of
water and moisture on this side of the mountain, perhaps accounting for faster
rot (and poorer fortunes for two amateur giant hunters) as well as for the size
of these huge trees.
Nor
were we able to find chestnut sprouts. The leaves were not out yet, but you can
still usually identify them. Paul had heard that where you find chestnuts
easily today is in places where they grew most poorly in the past. That’s
because many trees have problems growing in those places. But where they
formerly grew best, any tree can grow, and the niche of the chestnut was
quickly filled with other species. In fact, some biologists say that the best
thing ever to happen to biodiversity in our mountains was chestnut blight, since
the more commercially valuable oaks, poplars, and hickory colonized the empty
chestnut stands. (These biologists don’t get invited to my house for dinner
much!)
Vanishing Traces
We
went back down to report to Doug that we had found nothing and were fortunate
to run into Gene, who had just gotten off jury duty. He took a few minutes to
run us back up the hill and point out exactly where the tree had been. We had
been looking about 100 yards too far to the left, and he pointed out the little
rise and the flat upon which he recollected the stump had been. Gene said that
the big tree had yielded twelve to fourteen chords of acid wood, or about 1,800
cubic feet. His grandfather and father had harvested it around the turn of the
century.
He
also said that the forest we were looking at had already been cut twice in his
lifetime (he was about sixty years old) and that it was within twenty years of
another harvest. That would mean one heck of a lot of productivity for this
site, and might explain why the biggest chestnuts were found here.
Gene
drove back down the hill to the busy store, and Paul and I trudged through the
woods to the designated place, but we were unable to find even a hint of the
big tree—which is pretty much what one would expect when a tree has been gone
for 100 years. It’s a miracle that there was any crumb left fifteen years ago
when Gene recalled last seeing it.
We
just don’t find big chestnuts stumps any more. Even the biggest stumps can’t
last forever. But at least we did get to the site. The earth that supported
these big trees remains intact, no matter how many “foreigners” mow it down
from time to time. It can support the chestnut again. All that’s missing in the
equation is the chestnut, and we’re working on that. I’m planning a visit back
there in 700 years to see the replacement trees. Paul, unfortunately, will be
too old by then to go with me. But I’ll take some pictures for him.
And
the site did yield something for me: a rusted lucky horseshoe, complete with a
nail or two. Maybe off a horse and cart that used to turn around in the old
stump? I’d like to think that, anyway.
Forrest MacGregor is an
engineer, inventor, and artist who hails originally from the mountains of
Western North Carolina. He currently lives in Randolph, Vermont. Much of his
art and writing explores modern man’s relationship to technology.
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